musings

why'd you have to go-ohh away from home, ME LOVE ♥

2008-04-04T21:44:00.005+08:00

everyone please meet MONIX! my german love ♥ he finally arrived today!
he's the most good looking, charming adolf hitler u'll ever meet! so pls drool and be very jealous of me :P cos he's MINE and u cant have him HAHA ♥♥♥ oh i tell you, this is loovee

moooovin

2008-04-04T10:50:00.002+08:00

i've decided to go traditional. pen and paper :) where secrets will always remain secrets
and where i can write anything and everything as incoherently as i want to
still this blog will remain for me to type random stuff
LIKE HOW I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO THE RADIO AND HEARD THAT BRITNEY SPEARS IS GONNA BE THE BRIDESMAID FOR JAIME LYNN SPEARS' WEDDING
britney's my fav star. but tt's just so freakin weird!

then u look in my eyes

2008-03-31T02:27:00.007+08:00

gahs. i can feel my spiritual life starting on a downward spiral :/
NO. i shall stop its spiralling. and i will. today.

helped my daddy with another ecg today! feeling ribs and intercostals does get quite hard with adipose tissues. i got to do a venipuncture (to draw blood) too! first time but with my dad guiding my hands! haha but cool. at least i wont be so scared next time cos i wont be doing it for the first time without any experience or guidance!
i mean i've helped to push the syringe and all a few times (during injections) before but this was the first time i actually pierced the needle into a vein. so yeah cool stuff. head start in clinicals even before the clinical years! haha :)

ok but in all my excitement abt doing all these cool and new stuff, i think it's impt tt i always rmb to humanize the situation. all may not be well for the patient in qn. esp after doing an ecg which well, isnt totally normal. so yeahs. to cure sometimes, to relieve often but to comfort always. yes.

ZZZ

2008-03-30T20:37:00.003+08:00

i am so freaking stoned :/

zomg

2008-03-30T03:38:00.004+08:00

i did mention before that i find uni so much slacker than secsch or jc
but zomg it does get pretty stressful! esp when i have to really think so much!!
but guess i'm very fortunate and blessed cos i've got my daddy to ask and discuss qns with
still, it's no walk in the park
no walk at all!

gonna use next week to revise anat. and oh i hope (and i'll pray tonight!!) that physio will stay in my head as i labouriously knock anat stuff into my brain next week. yeah i might as well just take snell and knock my head with it. hai and i really dont wanna think abt biochem! so much to remember :S

anyways, here's my current playlist:
greatest story ever told- oliver james
long time coming- oliver james
i try- macy gray

good playlist for studying! oliver james btw, is that goodlookin guy from what a girl wants.
i realise i have this thing for cute, boyish looking angmoh actors who can sing. jesse mccartney, zac efron, oliver james. i think they all have this similar look. ok xcept for oliver james cos he has black hair but yeah. haha which is quite a good progress from alecsu (ZOMG. why deb why?) and jerryyen. haha oh but i still think jerry yen is quite goodlooking.

on another note, i've outlasted 3 flourescent light tubes! 2 in my living room and 1 in my room
ok i really should go sleep alr! i've been walking into stuff!

funnoorrammma

2008-03-29T23:01:00.007+08:00

funorama was ok. normal funfair stuff
great thing abt it was getting to meet pple :):)
and spending time with sheryl and gen (:(:
i didnt know wad to spend my coupons on though
haha

i try

2008-03-29T04:16:00.005+08:00

here's an old school number from somebody with the same hair as me
i used to find this song irritating but now, i really love it
awesome song writer; wouldnt u just agree?

anyhoos, i realise that i might have some form of lactase deficiency. afterall, i AM oriental aint i? (orientals are more predisposed to lactose intolerance)

oh-oh so now you know

2008-03-28T19:11:00.003+08:00

how it feels to be insignificant

nothing really new's been happening. xcept that pros will be happening in less than 3 weeks. O.O
i'm starting to realise that biochem isnt gonna be the piece of cake i thought it would be despite my bio background. there's just so much to rmb! i dun even wanna start thinking abt anat. :S

anyway i think i should get a nintendo ds. i'll have too much time on my hands after pros. so hint hint pple ;p my birthday is coming soon. gosh my twentieth birthday. less than 3 months to be a teenager. which makes me wonder how i spent my teen years. i never really felt turning 17 or 18 or 19. so maybe that's wad the hustle and bustle of life does to you. and now when uni is so much slacker, vhoom. it hits you. u're darn old. 20 freaking years old.

ok shall stop whining and get back to my notes.

dopamine

2008-03-19T11:45:00.006+08:00

dopamine is a very interesting chemical. and prob my fav hormone of all time. which is cool cos it starts with d too. heh :D chemicals and hormones really affect the body's functioning and moods so much, it's terribly amazing. if i could, i'd prob do a research paper on dopamine and related neurochemicals. (i dont really know wad a research paper is yet. but yeah u get my drift. it's very interesting)

i mean like wow. imagine how just a certain chemical can trigger so many emtions. and if one could just tweak those levels, many feelings will go. like feelings of sadness, depression and missing someone.

oxytocin's another interesting hormone. apart from it's role in pregnancy, it's a really feel good hormone'. it breeds positive feelings, facilitates learning, diminshes sense of pain, repairs, heals and restores and even lowers blood pressure and protect against heart diseases!
it's such a great chemical yet cos it cant pass the blood-brain barrier (xcept in the form of nasal sprays), we cant just take oxytocin pills to raise our oxytocin levels.

"Oxytocin equates with love; we could not fall in love without it. Cortisol equates with fear. These different hormones generate these opposing emotions, just as the emotions of love and fear trigger the production of these respective hormones. In other words, neurochemicals and behavior are circular. This means that with a bit of awareness and determination we can consciously direct our behavior toward the maintenance of our ideal hormonal balance. "
-http://www.reuniting.info/science/oxytocin_cortisol_love_fear

i think the last sentence is really amazing. see! hormones are so powerful!
ok back to dopamine.
dopamine triggers the pleasure/reward center of the brain and can be released by naturally rewarding experiences such as food and sex. (i so agree with the first one!)
it is also responsible for the 'high' pple get with a new partner. (see the coolidge effect) very interesting though i don't condone it (hey, biology is no excuse!).
low levels can lead to Parkinsons. and high levels to psychosis and schizophrenia.

very amazing.
i think i like neurotransmitters and the brain a lot! (watching 'my brilliant brain' triggers my dopamine levels SKYHIGH. i get super high. just ask my dad.)
hurr but tt's for now. hopefully it wont change once i start on neuroanatomy (God willing, the next academic year! no retain no retain!)

ok with that,
i think i better start studying for my physio tmr.
so i wont retain.
zomg. histo was a terrible killer. now i'm not even sure if i got even 1 of the 13histo qns right!
(pls be chief cell!! pls be chief cell!!!) and i even got the easy peasy leydig cell wrong!! i was so thinking leydig but for some reason i had to write sertoli. O.O) tt's like 26 marks confirm gone alr. cos all the cells look the same! only thing going through my mind then was, "zomg how many microscopes more to go!" sighhh hopefully gross anat will let me pass!
but on hindsight, spots are somewhat interesting la. every 45secs, they'll ring the bell and u move on to the next specimen/rest station. how often do u get an exam like that?? cool stuff
alright. physio now!

home

2008-03-16T14:51:00.008+08:00

just got home and yay today i got to help my dad do an ecg today. heh :D
den did some shopping with my mommmyy
AND i bought 1 pair of shoes! hehe
i wanted another pair of slippers but dont have my size :( boohoos
AND now i have kfc for lunch :D yay yay :P
byebye
:d

/EDIT/
haha zomg i love eating kfc with my dad cos we pull out random pieces of meat and start to guess what we just pulled out. like artery?? nerve?? from some foramen. HAHA :P

it's more than the air i breathe

2008-03-16T01:59:00.006+08:00

why do i keep trying so hard
when deep inside
i really feel so dumb
to keep trying

and nope, it's not histo
and the likes of it

come on debs
trust in the Lord
and not despair

love

2008-03-14T16:47:00.003+08:00

last day as m1 (11march2008)
i'm mighty small. somewhere far at the back! locate the 2nd wooden panel and move down. there's my puny face! nat on my right and kevin diagonally behind on my left.
God willingly, it'll be my only yr as m1! must pass pass pass! i want my 4month holiday!

Romans 8:38-39

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

:D

2008-03-12T15:09:00.004+08:00

deb feels very blessed today! :)
i dunno why but today i feel joy. deep joy :) deep deep joy :) like no other.
maybe it's cos i've been thinking about how much God has blest and done for me.
yest was our official last day/lecture as a year 1.
it's so fast and it seems like just yesterday that nus called me while i was in my lil corner, beside the toilet, getting damn pissed off with a certain travelagent and facebooking during work.

God is really good. i think i'd be really sad and miserable doing any other course and i really thank God for this opp to do this here in sg. (having done pbl, i thinking TOTAL pbl-ing in l'pool wil suck the life out of me. but dont get me wrong, i enjoy pbl. but having a course totally centred on pbl is prob too much to ask of me at this pt. haha prob not academically mature enough, as my pbl tutor explained why we find it tough sometimes)
PLUS my parents are here. my bro's here. and my frens are here. :) i've loads of moral support, and even 'physical' support- like my dad even took the trouble, to drive out and buy me supper, late one night when i complained of being hungry.

:) the above picture is my newly restocked snackbar :)
just got home from anat review and i'm currently freezing my ass off right now cos i was stuck at the busstop for ONE whole hour!! (it was raining) i got sian so i decided to just run in the rain. hurs.
THE NATURAL CONFECTIONARY and QUAKER GRANOLA BITES!
♥lurve lurve♥ :):)

cryout

2008-03-11T00:56:00.008+08:00

deb needs courage

but most of all
faith, trust and patience

God, help me to always remember Jeremiah 29:11
you know my needs

you only want the best for me
and not once,
no not once,
have you ever failed me.

yet it's times like these
that i cannot understand
why you would take away

what i thought you had given me

in the midst of all my angst, anger and hurt
i thank you still Lord

for at the back of my mind
i still find comfort

sadness and hurt still lingers
and

many questions still remain unanswered

but i know

you have your own timing

and your own plans

let your will be done, Lord.
but in the meantime,
pls grant me patience and trust and faith
like never before.

Amen.

if only

2008-03-10T02:24:00.006+08:00

if i lie here

if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world?

strange

2008-03-08T19:04:00.005+08:00

orlanda's play was really really good. thoroughly enjoyed myself. :):) and so that was the bachelor's club's first outing :) and it was even greater cos sheryl was there too :) AND we gotta ride in gwee's mini cooper!

anyhoos studying's taking its toll on me. this aft after brunch, i decided to take a nap and i set my alarm clock and when it rang, i thought i got up and started studying really hard, like feeling the input and all, only to realise it was a dream. and when i really woke up i realise i didnt really 'study' anything. evidently. was a dream wad.

sighhh. go debs comeon.

you got that extraordinary way
without even doing anything
why oh why?

i hate that fish you always cook!
(pause)
i always choke on the bones...
-ileftmyheartatoutrampark

well, some guy really DID leave his heart at outram park haha
but he deserved it
murderer

the only one who really knew me at all

2008-03-06T00:44:00.004+08:00

dunno wad title

2008-03-04T02:17:00.009+08:00

i really should study with my comp off more often. helps a great deal! BUT...i cant live without msn cos it keeps me in touch with beloved pple overseas!

so anyways i cant wait till FRIDAY!! cos it's gonna be our first bachelor's club outing.
we're gonna watch landa's ileftmyheartatoutrampark play!
i'm not a bachelor..i'm a bachelorette but what can i say...i rawk so much that kevin, daelen and ryan want to recruit me HAHAHA kiddin
i'm the liason personnel and president? i dunno they keep changing my position but i dun care i'm insisting tt the club name includes a bachelorette somewhere cos i'm not a boy!
daelen came up with calling me deBRO. haha right. but i dont care. i'm so not gonna be a boy and even then i'd rather be called drew cos it starts with D like my real name (oh i jsut realised debro starts with d too but wth) and cos i like the song teardropsonmyguitar which has a drew!

hehe cos i'm very hungry now. but i think i shd go sleep cos tmr's a looooong day. sigh pbl!

anyway to u, u hateful smelly shoe fan;
u might be reading this now since u say u read my blog
well i enjoyed tt lil chat just now.
but you're still hateful
and i'm gonna name my skull after u once it arrives

maybe it's the familiarity of it all

changes

2008-03-03T01:14:00.004+08:00

my 1 week break is over! :(

1 more post till that awful song is gone of this loading page.
i did like it for a while but now it's getting freaking whiny.

anyhoos, today's message was truly a reminder to me.
in more ways than one, i think i'm really like the pple of israel.
one moment, God delivers me and does something really powerful in my life (like how he helped them israelites escape from eygpt and cross the red sea) but the next moment, i'm off getting all my priorities wrong.
it's kinda like how them israelites got aaron to fashion a golden calf outta their goal. cos in the same way, i've been making my own 'idols'- things which i've been placing above God.
thanks for the reminder dear lord!

i loved the closing hymn today! but i cant seem to find the lyrics or at least those online dont look like when i'm looking for.

and should i stumble again,
i'm caught in your grace

everything [tim hughes]

There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

for seeyun :P

2008-03-01T19:00:00.003+08:00

beehoons just told me some very interesting stuff. u never fail to make me laugh man beeswax!! hang in there ya!! so anyway here's another of my intellectual posts dedicated to you

it's been a reaaaallly long while since i've read the newspapers so today during my brunch, i decided to have a go at TODAY. and on the front page, there was a report abt how a 58yr old guy made a prank call to the police claiming to be the terrorist that escaped. when i first read it i couldnt believe that some old guy like that will take the trouble to do this kinda mischeivious stuff. but well, after a while i figured tt maybe it could be linked to something deeper..to like throw the police off or smtg. but it's all my speculation. heh heh neat ehs.

ok 2nd insight: the ban on smoking in more areas. man i applaud that. yes! i think we've come a long way since the time smoking ads were prevalent on tv (or so i heard cos i dont think i was even born yet) so kudos to a smoke-freer country!

haha it's been a long time since i've done thinking or my brain has worked in this way. damn sad right? haha cos it's always piled with info from snell/moore/guyton and it never works when i'm around pple cos i get to distracted abt wadever's going on. but now, with more time on my hands, yeah. pretty refreshing. not extremely deep thoughts but yeah good enough for me. :) some current issues so yeah (:(:

anyways studying's been really slow for me. i think i'm a pretty temperamental learner cos i can only learn and study on days when i seem to be able to connect colours with learning points. kinda werid ehs.

liz just bumped started our hktrip discussion. man! i'm excited! hope it really works out! :)

vroom vroommm

2008-02-29T17:06:00.005+08:00

ok so i just returned from my driving lesson and i tell you...I LOVE DRIVING!!
it's quite fun la. haha although i still erm occasionally stall on slopes hurr

anyhoos. i'm need help! see, today, my maid's at the agency cos she needs to get some permit done..so my breakfast/lunch was left on the table for me. it's nooodles..the brown kind yeah so i dont really want it cos i dun feel like eating brown noodles today.
i had chocolates for breakfast and crackers for lunch (:(: man i'm such a sucker for junkfood (HAHA think if i'm overseas i'll eat icecream for breakfast, lunch and dinner).
so anyways my mom told me to keep the noodles in the fridge if i dont want it..like abt 5 hrs ago :X but i just went to check the fridge..and there's no place!! how how? i dunno how to shuff it in!! boosiess. oh wellsss
crapsies. i'm so unindependent. but driving makes me feel independent. haha :P

last night i played with some fb applications and i took this quiz called "what kinda guy will you fall for"
here's my result:

You would fall for the frat boy.
You like to have a good time, and you want someone who's not afraid to go all out to have fun with you. Your man may belch at the dinner table, but you know you'll always have a crazy night ahead of you!

so i thought..sounds cool and well, pretty accurate except i dunno wad a frat boy is exactly..so i googled it and here, from urbandictionary.com:

frat boy
any college age, needle-dick, weed-smoking asshole who attends college only to party and flunk out. may use roofies to rape women, and finds destroying the property of others an enjoyable passtime. recognizable by

1) caucasian ethinicity
2) sleeveless t-shirts
3) inane, misogynistic babble
4) the ginormous SUVs (usually F-150s or Suburbans) with jacked-up wheels they drive, especially with stereos blaring rap or metal
5) visors, especially if worn upside-down, backwards, or a savory combination of the two
6) excessive use of the word "faggot"
7) possession of 40 oz beers, cigarettes, marijuana, and/or beer kegs (full-size or pony). especially alcohol stolen from the local grocery store (see beer run).
8) membership in a fraternity. (optional)
Origin: "frat" from fraternity, a kind of college social club/residency hall.
"i don't feel good, i think some fuckin frat boy slipped me a roofie back there."
"dude some drunk fuckin frat boy threw a rock at my car on the way over here."

zomg haha i didnt know frat boy means this! haha but ok la. it's quite true.
i mean they are kinda cool and interesting arent they? i like no. 5 HAHA so cute
hurr but i dont like the bit abt using roofies to rape women. tt is just so..wrong. and the misogynistic bit (see no.3).
HAHA but the inane babble is kinda cute though i think i'd be quite bored after a while.

hurr..but of cos it's just a quiz.
and it's only abt the kind that i would most likely fall for, at first.
i wouldnt wanna marry someboday like this!
HAHA ok..
shall start studying now
upperlimbslatissimusdorsibicepsbrachioradialis...zzzz

/EDIT/
ok i so had to add this into my post.
my dad just asked me if i wanted pistachio nuts so i was like ok
den he gave me
den as he was walking off, he sniggered, "like feeding botanical garden monkeys"
!!!!
DADD!!! bleehhhss..:P!!! bully...

HAHA

2008-02-29T01:02:00.004+08:00

F U N N N Y Y !!!
courtesy of my destress-er
haha

these are really really worth watching!!! totally cracked me up haha

intellectual post

2008-02-28T12:30:00.002+08:00

beehoons! rmb how i was saying i shd start blogging more abt intellectual current issues rather than..err today i did this did that ? welll here's gonna be the first of a soon to come string of intellectual posts! *pushes up specs*

the terrorist escaped from the detention centre! when josh told me yest i thought he was joking like zomg i thought singapore's security's really tight. anyway, at sch today loads of pple were talking abt it. and the scariest thing is tt it's super near the west area cos it's at whitley. all the houses and schools! anyhows, i'm not too terrified by terrorist than the escape itself..cos i thought security's really really tight. so yeah.

anyhoos. i was just doing a tongue examination in front of the mirror just now. wah my tongue is so ugly siah. hurr. i was trying to find the filiform and fungiform papillaes and the submandibular and sublingual ducts. but i realise the back of my tongue has many red dots i'm not too sure wad tt is cos even if there are supposed to be it should be nearer the front. or maybe i rmbed wrongly or smtg. could they be lymphoid nodules?? or maybe it's cos i just ate a whole tube of mentos lime mint. mmm..dunno dunno

!!

2008-02-28T03:58:00.003+08:00

my cicardian rhythmn is so messed up. i'm so totally suferring from insomnia zzz :(
i just cant sleep :/
and i didnt sleep in the afternoon today
anyhow, thought i'd do a bit of reading: the sleep cycle
really interesting
and think i better try sleep now cos sleep deprivation leads to an increased risk of obesity :/
and i gotta be in school in less than 5 hrs

How we fall asleep
Our bodies provoke us to sleep by sending messages from our circadian clocks – our inner time-keeping, temperature-fluctuating, enzyme-controlling devices. The circadian clock works in tandem with adenosine, a neurotransmitter that “turns down” many of the bodily processes that make us feel awake. Adenosine is created as our cells create the power needed to move us though the day. As the level of adenosine builds up in our brains, we feel sleepier. Along with corresponding messages from the circadian clock, this alerts us that its time to sleep.

Prior to starting the sleep cycle, we first spend a few moments in a state of “relaxed wakefulness”. Most people stay in this stage for less than ten minutes, but the time you spend in relaxed wakefulness can offer clues to how well you are sleeping. If you are falling asleep the moment your head hits the pillow, you are either a very good sleeper, or you are extremely sleep deprived.

Stages of sleep: the sleep cycle
Sleep is a periodic state of rest during which consciousness of the world is interrupted. Additionally, sleep is marked by:

decreased movement of the skeletal muscles;
a relaxed posture, usually lying down;
reduced response to stimulation, such as sounds and touch;
slowed-down metabolism; and
complex and active brain wave patterns.
Sleep is divided into two types: REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep and NREM (non-REM) sleep. REM sleep is when we dream. NREM sleep is further divided into four stages. A typical night of sleep follows this pattern:

Stage 1 (Drowsiness) - When you first fall asleep, you are in Stage 1 sleep (Drowsiness). Stage 1 lasts just five or ten minutes. Eyes move slowly under the eyelids, and muscle activity slows down. You are easily awakened during Stage 1 sleep.
Stage 2 (Light Sleep) -Next, you go into Stage 2 sleep (Light Sleep). In Stage 2, eye movements stop, heart rate slows, and body temperature decreases.
Stages 3 & 4 (Deep Sleep) - Then you enter Stages 3 and 4 (Deep Sleep). During stages 3 and 4, you are difficult to awaken. People who are awakened during Deep Sleep do not adjust immediately and often feel groggy and disoriented for several minutes after they wake up. Children may experience bedwetting, night terrors, or sleepwalking during Deep Sleep.
REM sleep (Dream Sleep) - At about 70 to 90 minutes into your sleep cycle, you enter REM sleep. You usually have three to five REM episodes per night. Your eyes jerk rapidly in various directions under your eyelids, thus the name Rapid Eye Movement (REM) Sleep.
The first sleep cycles each night contain relatively short REM periods and long periods of deep sleep. As the night progresses, REM sleep periods increase in length while deep sleep decreases. By morning, people spend nearly all their sleep time in stages 1, 2, and REM.

What happens during the REM sleep stage?
During REM sleep, you dream actively, but your limb muscles are immobile. Your breathing is rapid, irregular, and shallow. Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure rises, males may have penile erections, and females may have clitoral enlargement. Your brain is at least as active during REM sleep as it is when you are awake.

Because your major muscles do not move during REM sleep, you will not act out your dreams. (Sleepwalking occurs during NREM sleep.)

Infants spend about 50 per cent of their sleep time in REM sleep; after infancy, you spend fifteen to twenty per cent of your sleep time in REM sleep.

The importance of deep sleep and dream sleep
Each stage of sleep offers benefits to the sleeper. However, deep sleep is perhaps the most vital stage, as it is the first stage that the brain attempts to recover when we are sleep deprived. If we do not get adequate deep sleep, we experience the strongest effects of sleep deprivation.

Deep sleep allows the brain to go on a little vacation needed to restore the energy we expend during our waking hours. Blood flow decreases to the brain in this stage, and redirects itself towards the muscles, restoring physical energy. Research also shows that immune functions increase during deep sleep.

REM sleep, or dream sleep, is also very important. This stage is associated with processing emotions, retaining memories, and relieving stress. Our brains suspend logic, and we lose all self-awareness – which is why we can experience ridiculous, irrational events in our dreams and believe them to be true.

If our REM sleep is disrupted one night, our bodies don't follow the normal sleep cycle progression the next time we doze off. Instead, we often go through extended periods of REM until we "catch up" on this stage of sleep. But, if deep sleep has been lost as well, our brain attempts to catch up on this stage first – in fact, the brain will try and make up all of the deep sleep it has lost and only half of the REM sleep.

about you now

2008-02-28T00:09:00.001+08:00

thank you lord

2008-02-27T20:18:00.002+08:00

today i really thank God for putting specific pple in my life to continually literally pull me back to God. everytime i feel like i'm slipping away, God places someone there to help direct me back to the right path. really thank God so much for lyd! my dear friend from childhood till now, my accountability partner and my discipler.

i've been having this bugging feeling to just like go on strike and stray away but i thank God for the sharing that we had. and for the reminder and gentle chiding to not conform to the world. to stay close to God and to trust in him completely. i really really thank God for pulling me back before my heart hardens!!

today we almost completed the first discipleship book and i thank God for these 5 assurances!
Assurance of Salvation, answered prayer, victory, forgiveness and guidance!

1. Assurance of Salvation
"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and the life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life." -1 John 5:11-12

2. Assurance of Answered Prayer
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete." -John 16:24

3. Assurance of Victory
"No temptation has seized you expect what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." -1 Corinthians 10:13

4. Assurance of Forgiveness
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us out sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." -1 John 1:9

5. Assurance of Guidance
"Trust in the Lord with all your hear and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

I really like the last assurance. and i really love that verse and i'm gonna make it my verse for the year. sometimes i just love doing things my way; my style; on my own strength and somehow i just dont seem to get some stuff. and that's cos i'm not relying on God for strength and trusting in him. so yeah tt's gonna be my verse! yes debo yes. :)

on another note, i like had duck for dinner and now i smell. man i'm never EVER gonna eat duck again cos it's so smelly. hurr. and last night me and my bro did some hanging out..well kinda..with some math questions and physcis stuff HAHA i love my bro man. he's just so fun and interesting to be around. no wonder he's a total lady killer man. yes so anyway we hung out till abt 4am and we were supposed to go gymming at 5am but i pangsehed him in the end :/ BLEHHS cos by 4.30am i was so tired i decided to have a half an hour nap but by 5 i totally couldnt get up! i could hear my bro but i was like paralyzed!! kind of.. haha..it's part of the sleep cycle by the way. if i rmb correctly. hurr.
anyway my bro's so cool la. haha i love the way he lists his list of things to do. freaking hilarious. haha it's kinda vulgar so i shant depict it here haha but ahh..haha :):)

!!

2008-02-26T22:34:00.001+08:00

haha zomg! i love the doggy :)
wad a smart dog
can pat his head and rub his belly!

this baby's so cute!

tsktsk

2008-02-26T18:59:00.003+08:00

i'm a damn sad excuse of a person man
2 posts in a day!
and so angsty

ok so maybe just just now
i'm much better after a nice sleep
so yeah
i spend my day with my bed, books and talking to blogger
sad sad
come on man debz

oh oh i just like ate one whole packet of really hard crackers
zomg they were so hard that i nearly thought i'd go deaf after eating them
the crunching sound was soo loud!!
HAHA :)
but i still can hear now. haha

/EDIT/
oh yeah wanted to blog that my friend ofe is soo lucky! her counsillor's friend like gave her a box of bones. real ones! for free! and tt person's not even her counsillor
lucky gal mann!! i also want!!

on a random note,
i absolutely LOVE drawing trochanters of the femur
HURR HURR :)

peace out :)

you want a piece of me

2008-02-26T12:37:00.007+08:00

freakin bored
freakin sian
ZZZZZZZZ

i hate the feeling of being obligated to do things
i hate having to give reasons or explain my situation

i like to do things cos i want to
not cos i've been doing them
or cos i should be doing them

in the same way i hate doing things that'll make my life difficult for myself
like dissing certain important pple off
not just important
but pple who mean loads to me
and pple whom i love
and pple who love me back
and want nothing but the best for me

even if that means going against my obligations
but at the same time
explaining myself would put them down
which i dont like to
and i think i've done enough
yet vindicating myself
makes me more comfortable
or so i think

dammit. wont anyone ever understand.
angsty mode. so meant to die.
efff et.
dont need anyone's sympathy or empathy.
in fact, i dont need no one.
just them 'rents, bro and mygirls.

die world die.

sigggggghh

2008-02-25T21:49:00.004+08:00

why did i have to read snell, not know the meaning of intussception and google it??
first link on google:
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgical/intussusception.html

i hate you google
just when everything was getting better
the cute baby at the top doesnt help either
stupid google
oh how i hate you so

lazy sunday afternoon

2008-02-24T17:02:00.004+08:00

it's like all the disappointment just collected and poured out on this lazy sunday aft.
i just wanna stay under the covers and never get up
never get up to face the world

maybe it's the monotonous studying
maybe it's the toughness in trying to grab the little ones' attention despite all their cuteness
maybe it's being pangseh-ed for lessons twice
and the disappointment in trusting a fren in a work partnership
all the irresponsibility in failing to notify :/:/
(it doesnt matter what the reason is, and that includes being unwell. certainly dropping a msg even hours aft wont suck the life out of you dammit.)
things arent supposed to be like that. the last minute preparation and all. but still i went along only to be the only one to have to prepare it all in like 15mins?
maybe it's the impending pbl lesson tmr where there's grp work to be presented and nobody has done anything yet
or maybe the root of it all is how sometimes the person u least expect to disappoint you does just that
and all you ever wanted to do is to stick by their side through thick and thin
but that just doesnt materialise for some weird reason that you just cannot comprehend

sometimes u wanna trust the human race
but after so much have happened,
that's probably not possible anymore

we live in a scary world
a world where people care for nothing but themselves and their selfish needs
i'm not ready for it
i'm just disillusioned, maybe.

love isnt forever, so tell me what forever's for?

what happens in vegas stays in vegas

2008-02-20T19:34:00.008+08:00

zomg i reached home at 1ish today and slept until 6pm
wad a wasted day!!

anyways i'm really irritated now..cos
I'M FEEDING MOSQUITOES
I LOST MY GREEN HIGHLIGHTER cos i fell asleep with snell whilst on my bed
MY NEWLY BOUGHT GREEN PEN DOESNT WORK
and I REALLY NEED TO HIGHLIGHT/WRITE CERTAIN WORDS AND PHRASES IN GREEN
cos it's so glaringly a green thing to highlight/write!!

gosh i do have OCD, dont i? esp when it comes to work related stuff zzz
it's like i even gave my newish nus writing pad to my bro in exchange for a half-left-azone one i gave him earlier cos i felt the nus writing pad doesnt absorb my ink fast enough!! zzz..i'm weird like that..blehhhhssss
i complained to my mum and she said..u know something..u're so grumpy HAHA T.T
grumpy dumpy me. boos oh wells :/

you know you have had too much of nerves when you start spelling Vegas as vagus
:S

the milkyway above the heavens is twinkling just for you

2008-02-20T03:32:00.000+08:00

i am very happy cos tmr i only have 1 tutorial! at 10am. haha can wake up later.
but..i'm barely even half way through my tutorial at it's almost 2am..zzz
i havent even showered yet! zzzz
ok but i'm not so sleepy yet cos i had a nap in the afternoon..which is a really bad habit!! gotta change that!!!
had my 2nd clinical yest :) interesting stuff. God willingly i'll become astute enough by the time i graduate
alright better get back to my tutorial.

and mr moon,
he came by,
to say goodnight to you
♥

/EDIT/
okies so i'm done with tutorial and shower :)
i love keeping late nights cos it's quiet and there's almost nothing to distract me (xcept blogger and facebook haha)
just me, my thoughts, my text and maybe the music playing in the bgd
bored bored bored and totally not sleepy
man..i better stop sleeping in the afternoon! i'm WIDE AWAKE O.O 3.32am!

:)

2008-02-17T23:34:00.002+08:00

let me be a little kinder,
let me be a little blinder,
to the faults of those around me,
let me praise a little more.

let me pray when i am weary,
be a little bit more cheery;
think a little more of others
and a little less of me

let me be a little braver,
when temptation bids me waver,
let me strive a little harder,
to be all that i should be :)

let me be a little meeker
with a brother who is weaker,
let me think more of my neighbour
and a little less of me!!

si left for melb today :( boohoo
will miss her.
oh wells. have fun si :) see ya at the end of the yr

:D

2008-02-16T22:10:00.003+08:00

one day i was wondering
what life's all about
life is full of heartache
restlessness and doubt
then one day a gentle stranger
whispered words of love
lalalalala

i know where i'm going
and whom i'm going to meet
i have a friend named jesus
waiting there for me :)
he can give life meaning that only he can give
lalalalala

just came back from yf chinese new year reunion dinner thingy. had the usual singspiration and then we played captain's ball before the dinner. was really fun :) dinner was really good steamboat plus icecream! lyd and i were quite glad we were far above from the steamboat thingy cos then we could just sit down and wait for the guys to fill our bowls haha :)
i'm glad i went to yf today! it's been like 2/3 weeks?? yeah :D
love the song above..but i kinda forgot the rest of the lyrics hence the lalalas but oh wells. it's a really meaningful song :)
anyways i'm really sticky now! shall go shower. tataa :)

ironically, that very moment was when my heart grew cold

2008-02-16T02:26:00.008+08:00

i still think about how it used to be
so entwined in my own lies
surrounded by this make believe

ive been held by despondency
i should have known the road I chose would run out on me

i could have faded
been jaded
by every consequence

every word that you hurdled
was part of my defense

you can hurt me
desert me
it makes no difference
i give as good as i get

like a weight falling from my shoulders
im not going to go that way again

when everybody said that my days were over
wouldnt get the time to comprehend

you should have known it would make me stronger
i was never gonna fade away
i keep it coming
my destiny aint running away from me
and it's all so bittersweet

in my life
i had no room for comprimise
the things ive done have been the ones i have had to leave behind
look in my eyes
you'll barely recognise
the woman who depended on you to sing a little praise or criticise

so I hide it
divide it
bout what I feel inside
now I take it
or make it
im gonna be alright

whether you need me,
believe me,
youll never hurt my pride

it's almost 3am!! zzz sleepy hurr..shall go sleepp

vday!

2008-02-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

vday was really good today :) was unexpected! i really thought it'd be the suckiest day ever
but
YAY it wasnt!
i went to school earlier. had lunch with sheryl and gen and "studied" (read talk n talk) with sheryl. had tutorial. den hit town to have a girls night out! so fun. we saw many gays arnd! haha man really love them so much! (i'm refering to my girls..not the gays..haha)
and i had a nice surprise today too! a msg all the way from hk! ;)

hehe :)
hugs everybody!
happy vday!
xoxo

:(

2008-02-13T23:43:00.001+08:00

:(
really wish things were back to normal
or at least amiable

my dandy life

2008-02-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

school was good today
nothing like a good confusing lecture on the submandibularregion :) and i'm not being sacarstic
somehow i prefer those complexities and complications to...
i only vaguely have a rough idea of that region but i think i like stuff that kinda confuse me. i'm weird like that. :) but i know i'll sort that mess in time. maybe that's why i like it.
gonna miss u truckloads eunice ;'(

honestly what will become of me;don't like reality;it's way too clear to me;But really life is dandy;we are what we don't see;missed everything daydreaming

love my girls

2008-02-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit.

good thing, i've my girls :D

2008 has been a freaking bad year even though feb just kinda began.
i dont understand a lot of things and it's freaking not fair.
i cant help but hate ur guts
dont give a shit; dont give a shit; dont give a shit, anymore.
eunice is leaving tmr. shitzzz

don't wanna leave it all behind;but I get my hopes up;and I watch them fall everytime

:/

2008-02-10T13:42:00.000+08:00

deleted

:S

2008-01-31T20:26:00.000+08:00

i went swimming today again! :D

ooos but right now, i'm dying. i cant seem to connect anything i learnt in renal physio. i had such a hard time trying to do my tbl just now :/ so many blanks cos i dunno/cant rmb.
blehs. think i should really dont care and move on to start understanding endocrine. the lectures for endocrine are almost all over and i'm still stuck on figuring out renal physio. :S blehs

O.O

2008-01-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

another bulk of pple leaving for overseas soon :(
eunice, sihua, lydiahang! boos.
after liz leaves for uk, there'll only be 4 of us in our clique :( from 8 to 4!!

tlc under water :)

2008-01-28T18:42:00.000+08:00

WHEE. i feel so accomplished today. i have a NEW FOUND LOVE FOR SWIMMING!! :):)
i swam 40 "laps" (up and down my curved shaped pool) today even though i only was aiming for 30laps!
oh man. swimming is really so addictive once you get the hang of it.
on my first 20ish laps, i was just struggling..taking 1 lap at a time..having quite long breaks in between
then i started to work on my breathing and it got better :)
it was just so cool.
like testing TLC (total lung capacity) under water! deep breath, head down and BLOWW everything out. man it's really shiok. i was just so lost in it!
by my 26th lap i totally started to get a hang of it man-swimming without goggles!! could finally dip my head underwater once, stroke once and dip again.
before that, it was dip head, stroke twice with head above water then dip head again. very inefficient. and cos i wasnt wearing googles, i was too afraid to open my eyes too quickly and each time i did, water seeemed to flow into my mouth as i took a breath before going in.
but then, i dunno..somehow, prob with God's wisdom i just started to get it. HAHA the trick is to not open ur eyes so much. just a lil bit when ur head comes out; doesnt matter if vision is blur with water over your eyes cos tt's all the better.
all ya have in mind and in sight is your goal. the other end of the pool. and man i love the focusness and concentration that i get when i swim. it's down, breath out+ stroke, up + open eyes slightly+ deep breath, and down again! shiookk :):)
it's like all i can see is the goal, all i can hear is the bubbles flowing past my ears. nothing else. just me and the water. woahs. :):)
but think i swim quite unglamly la..cos i think i make this deep breath sound when i take my breath before going down again. HAHA but i'm working on that!
yeah so after i reached 30 laps, i really couldnt stop. i just wanted to keep going on and on! but i decided to stop after 40 laps so i wont do an overkill and not swim again.
HAHA so all tt's left now, is to maintain this man.
i realise i've a short interest span. just like rollerblading. i tend to get sooo hypep abt something..but somehow cant sustain it.
but this one's gonna be different! i love it!
i also got to experience some physiology in action man.
was just thinking abt it when i was helping my mom post her letters just now.
the reason why i felt so tired during my first few laps was cos i didnt figure out the breathing bit. but once i got it, i was able to aerate/oxygenate my muscles properly! as a result, less anaerobic respiration and less lactic acid and less tiredness! zomg! haha i asked my dad just now..he said should be la.
YEAHHH man i love swimming. i love med. it's so cool to just see, experience and understand the physiology of our bodies!!

:):)

2008-01-25T20:05:00.000+08:00

HAHA i've decided that i'm not gonna be that sadass loser anymore!
yes! :)
moving on :),
today was good. was early! 2nd time this whole year! YEAHHHH
fell asleep this morning during lectures though! was tired!! kept drifting in and out! i really tried to pay attn; i did :) got all the details abt the part of the skull the prof was talking abt but just didnt noe which part :S HAHA wasted. :/ cos think i drifted out during tt part. hahas
anyway had pract and i held a brain in my hands. humanbrain yes. coolstuff. kinda looks like intestines squished together and when u pull away some bits, it looks like taukee.

anyways, during driving today, i ONLY stalled once! HAHA
driving with heels is slightly easier! today at least..

hurrs my blog is so incoherent but nvm HAHA
yest was a REALLY FUN DAY!
ended school at 1030am, slacked around while waiting for my frens to finish their pbl and then went to town to catch AMERICAN GANGSTER. good show man. but was really confusing at first. ofe and me kept bugging poor samuel/samadHAHA during the show.
den we walked around town and i couldnt get the havanas sandals i wanted cos they only had disgusting pink and blue. :( i want either orange and brown! anyhow the num salesguys are all pretty cute. hurrs. but wth. haha anyway den we walked alll the way from cine to ps! passed the istana and spent like abt 10mins looking at the security guards and soldiers and a car nearly drove out from the istana! i was like so excited..but too bad it didnt drive out.
had pre-dinner tea at secret receipe and it was really fun! loved the hanging out and crap talking!
HAHA it's been a really looong time since i've done hanging out after school with a bunch of crazy frens :) funfun!
:):)

:/

2008-01-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

:)

2008-01-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

had a reaally loong day at school today. but yay! tt's prob the worse day for this week cos i have no anat tutorial or pbl this week! HAHA :P
i love medsch [though there's like tons of stuff to study :( and i'm like totally lost for physio] but yeah we learn so many interesting things!
like how to beat the lawyers at scrabble by forming words like 'falx' and 'pterygoid'! haha our lecturer, voon taught us tt today. haha cool stuff and kinda timely cos we just thrashed the law fac at rugby and floorball over the weekend tt just passed HAHA :)

oh wells been a nice day.
and i finally got my fix of chocolate
twix! HAHA
like finally.
:)

it takes two

2008-01-20T20:48:00.000+08:00

no lifer. :(
i'm so bored but there's nothing to do but immerse myself in stoopid work.
prob helps me to get my mind off things.
or does it?
cos it seems to make it worse.
i dunno.
zzzzz

twist twist twist twist, mashpotato mamba

:/

2008-01-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

Tattoo by Jordin Sparks
No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later,
I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger,
I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry (to myself) but I have to move on
And leave you behind :( (not like i have a choice :/)

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you, I'll always have you

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could
Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you
I'll always have you

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

:P

2008-01-18T16:35:00.001+08:00

meeting my ladies tonight :P
yay yay :):)

bros and hohos

2008-01-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

haha my bro ahhh :P
he was like blasting music/controlling volume and all
FROM THE TOILET
yes the toilet..somehow he got his laptop hooked up to his desktop and stereo
and he copied the song i was playing on my comp AHEM
yeah then (as u can see as the convo goes on)he tried to scare me cos just before this his door suddenly closed by itself (prob the wind la duhh)
HAHA :P

debo. says:
COPYCATTT!!

You have just sent a nudge.

A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
shut up i am louder
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
nudge me right
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
k now you die
debo. says:
mine was playing just a few seconds before urs
debo. says:
HAHA
debo. says:
u confuse my ears
debo. says:
OEIII
debo. says:
PIGASSSS
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
and to think of it
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
i am in the toilet
debo. says:
wth???
debo. says:
HAHA
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh says:
check out my nick
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh says:
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh says:
HAHA
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
oh
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
like that huh
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
very nice
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
tml you wake up with funny things
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
ont blame me
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
i will ask the "girl" walking around to give you a surprise
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
WHAHAHA
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
walau
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
u're alone in the toitlet
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
isnt tt worse
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
i am used to it after all this time
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
later a hand come out from the toilet bowl and grab ur ass
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
that is why i can talk to her
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
no lah
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
massage my ass
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
more like pull u into the toilet bowl la and mix u up with shit
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
no la
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
i love ghosts
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
respect them
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
zzzzzz pigasss
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
huh you have a pigs ass? aiyoh
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
dont like that la
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
more confidence
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
haiz
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
LOL
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
smartass
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
HA!
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
me a smart ass? wow
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
you can just be nicer to say i am smart
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
:
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
dont be spiteful
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
add the 'ass"
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
BLEHH
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
i go study already..go entertain the ghost
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
haha
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
u still are a copycatt HAHAH
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
nehh nehhh nehh
A couple of the sound that I really like Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike says:
loser
debo. darrylngthetoiletkingisafreakingcopycat!!!!!!! nehhhhh : P says:
piggggaassss

zzomg

2008-01-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

i think i'm quite a mess.
yeah.
but i'm not worried.
just a lil confused, now
but it's cool.
yeah.
:)

at the end of the day,
i'm pretty sure
i know
it's
you

obsess

2008-01-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

i think i obsess a lot.
which definitely is not a good thing! zzz
geez wad am i doing online for?

maybe it's for novelty?
maybe it's for old times sake?
or denial?
rebellion?
or maybe it's for real O.O
i also dunno...

anyway i'm learning hokkien now. organised by medsoc (i think)
first lesson was yest..which was quite funny la.
hokkien sounds freaking funny.

had driving lesson today. drove from a carpark in clementi, past upper bukit timah road, all the way to bukit batok. man i stalled like damn a lot of times. at this traffic light junction in bb, i stalled so many times that the red light, which turned green, became red again.
all the pedesterians were like staring at my LEMBU car. gg man. haha

i'm so bored.

muses

2008-01-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

it's so strange. seeing people younger than me turn 18 (on fb). like u see pple tag their walls and write "HAPPY 18th"

so surreal. makes me wonder how i spent the 18th year of my life. which i cant rmb.
but reminds me i'll be 20 this year!?! nooooos! zzzz
(like ilman whose bday's today. HAHA 20yr old himbo. :P haha)
i think the lst 2 yrs in my life at jc was pretty much a blur and a whoosh through. which is good.
prob was a really great mix of bittersweet memories. bitter for being where i was maybe? but sweet for lovely memories and friendships, esp 1 particular one.

life feels kinda surreal now. been kinda happier the past 2 days. HAHA :D which is a good thing i suppose.

the hard facts of life

2008-01-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

in·dif·fer·ence /ɪnˈdɪfərəns, -ˈdɪfrəns/ [in-dif-er-uhns, -dif-ruhns] –noun
1. lack of interest or concern
2. unimportance
3. the quality or condition of being indifferent.
4. mediocre quality; mediocrity.

the opposite of love isnt hate; it's indifference
seriously,
what was i thinking?

well,
at least now i've got my answer

:(

2008-01-07T23:42:00.001+08:00

i miss you
but do you miss me the way i miss you?

i miss talking rubbish with you
asking you for opinons
whining to you
talking to you before bedtime
laughing with you
i miss spending time with you

i thought i was over it
but why do tears just come
when i think about you?

i just wish it were all a dream
a bad dream
and that when i wake up
everything will be back to normal

maybe i shouldnt try to move on
but i'm so confused
is there even anything left for me to hold on to?

To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

who am i kidding?
you are :(

solitary

2008-01-06T20:27:00.000+08:00

kruz

2008-01-04T01:51:00.000+08:00

cruise tmrr
havent pack finish
too lazy to pack
stuck on facebook

busy day today!
met up with beats who's back from oregon! and steph from northwestern..which i dunno is in which state
and then natngoi's bdae party
man. food was good esp the dessert :d

i'm sleepy!
supposed to drop by mg tmr with my pallies but :( cant
zzz sigh
mom's unhappy with me man. for going out too much :(
but it's hols!
my first real hols since A levels and possibly the penultimate hols of my life.

zz. sigh's it's been a bad start to 2008.
stuff i've been going through.
i really wanted to start it right.
blahs.

it'll get better.
i know it.
it always does
the question is when.
but actually i dont really care.

shall just live for the day.
byes

2007-12-30T23:39:00.000+08:00

i had a great time catching up with my dear mg frens a few days back :P check out facebook for pictures. they speak a thousand words.
but other things, or rather, another thing, hasnt been all fine and dandy.
i still thank God for his bountiful mercies upon me this entire year though! even for this trial i'm going through. in fact, i feel my burden almost lifted!
i just typed finished my testimony for tmr's watchnight service! it's really long though, cant fit 2 mins :/ but it just goes to show how good God has really been. :D maybe i'll paste my testimony here tmr, the last day of 2007.
thanks Lord.
i'm coming back to the heart of worship, where it's all about you; all about you Jesus.
thanks for taking me back! :)
THANK GOD FOR THIS LOVELY HYMN! i can relate to it so much!

Thanks to God for my Redeemer,
Thanks for all Thou dost provide!
Thanks for times now but a memory,
Thanks for Jesus by my side!

Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime,
Thanks for dark and stormy fall!
Thanks for tears by now forgotten,
Thanks for peace within my soul!

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,
Thanks for what Thou dost deny!
Thanks for storms that I have weathered,
Thanks for all Thou dost supply!

Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure,
Thanks for comfort in despair!
Thanks for grace that none can measure,
Thanks for love beyond compare!

Thanks for roses by the wayside,
Thanks for thorns their stems contain!
Thanks for home and thanks for fireside,
Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!

Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow,
Thanks for heav’nly peace with Thee!
Thanks for hope in the tomorrow,
Thanks through all eternity!

heroes

2007-12-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

i went swimming and rollerblading today :D
hehe
i've been watching heroes with justin!
"i love the way your cheeks wobble when you concentrate"
HAHAHA :P
i'm starting to think i can bend space and time too. haha

my hols have been quite eventful! cant believe next week's christmas already! the highlights have been sundayschoolcamp, justin's commissioning parade and ball :P
the ball was yesterday and my date ;) got me flowerss! :):)
and i won 2nd prize at the luckydraw. casio exslim eh. 7.2pixels! haha gave it to my mum.

anyway wish my hols would be longer. booos. in a flash, sch's gonna start AGAIN :( ahhhh :(

zommggg

2007-12-02T12:46:00.000+08:00

i put on my jeans for church today and zomg..i think i increased abt a size or 2. it was damn tight. BOOOOOS :(

someone pls make my day and serenade me with this song!!
Get yourself to the butterfly lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they'll be calling you baby
No need to fantasize
Since the words are my phrases
A watering hole the with girls around
And curves in all the right places
BEEG GIRLS YOU ARE BEEAUTIFULL!!!!

hungeraaaryy

2007-12-01T03:15:00.000+08:00

i'm hungry!
boooos.

the reason i'm up at this unearthly hour is all bcos of mr redbull.
i have no idea wad it does yet but i'm sure of one thing and tt is that it screws with my body system man.
i practically had tachycardia this afternoon; i felt kinda disorientated approx 4hrs after the drink, and i had uncontrollable shaking of my left middle finger for abt 10secs.
ZOMG
anyways, i'm taking a break from mr snell.

i had a really good day yest.
my first clinical exposure at the wards. i really learnt a lot and it was pretty fascinating albeit the sick pple.(but yeah it's a hosp. it's supposed to be like that, right?)
anyhow, just wanna say that doctors walk damn fast. the whole grp of us were literally running, yes running, i kid you not, just to keep up with our tutor.
u'd prob think there was an emergency bcos tt's like 15 pple in white coats striding along the corridor.
hahas. anyhoos, my tutor was really fantastic. :) he was good.

alrighty, shall get back to work.
oh yeahs. went to church this aft to study since there was going to be a dry run for our activity for ss camp. it's really a nice place to study cos it's so breezy and my church frens are always there (studying/ having meetings)! :)
but kinda lehchey tho cos i practically had to lug ALL my heavy books along.
(hurr..good thing my dad fetched me today) :P

:P

2007-11-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

i just remembered tt sch starts at 930 tmr/today! JOY :)
haha
ok think i've spent way too much time on the comp. :x

zzzz

2007-11-27T18:23:00.000+08:00

biochem is frying my brains and killing me. gahs. metab is so so draining.

2007-11-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

i never knew the njpetcher who died in the dragonboating incident but i cant help but feel sad.
he did quite a bit for squashteam. and being in njsquash was one of the most enjoyable bits of my jclife. i feel sad for the sch; i feel sad for the team. :(
cheer up pple. hope things get better soon.

carssss :)

2007-11-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

whee :) another early day! tutorial got cancelled. HOHOHO :)

was gonna try get a lift from jiayi in her bmw convertible when she was coming to get licia but it was too full alr cos wenjie and nigel were in it. boohoo..but anyway :) haha while waiting for my bus, ashvind stopped by in his mercedes convertible sports and gave me a ride! :) HAHA he even stopped by a sliproad to open the roof! haha so fun! he drives so damn fast. fun fun! haha i had to grab his notebook so it like wouldnt fly out or smtg.

HEHE
haha ok enough excitement for today. have to study now.

whhhat??

2007-11-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

here's my bro's very SMART riddle:
paper cuts skin; so what does skin cut?
ans: shit

wthh..haha
omygad.
my bro so totally rawks la.
he's cool. xcept for the fact i have to study with his stupid blasting music, outoftune electric guitar strumming and noxious fumes.

anyway, today i ate a whole green chilli with a piece of guchaigui?? that my mum made.
AND i had no idea tt the part near the stalk is the hottest.
like omg. i was so totally dying.
i drank 3 cups of water & sucked 4 cubes of ice but was still really hot.

hurr oh wells,
break's over..
bye :)

x.x

2007-11-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

:(
omg med is damn tough.
dying.
how to rmb so many things??
i started studying since 11am this morning and i just finished going through the whole lipids metab thing once. like for the first time and tt's only just 'feeling ground'. havent quite gotten to the 'i kinda got it in my head' stage. 11am to 9pm..almost nonstop ZZZ
and there's a everything but lipids of biochem left, ALL my anatomy left, and half of physio left.
CA is in abt a week.
dieee.

maybe my dad's right after all.
but i cant just give up cos i wanna be lazy right?
oh well..go on deb!!

on another note, justin bought me a huge cylinderish thingy of jellybeans-"The Jelly Bean Factory"! 36 diff flavours altogether! :P
haha it's supposed to be like my stresspills or smtg.
hurr. :)

PEEGTALES

2007-11-22T18:07:00.000+08:00

omg i'm such a peeg.
first short day in such a long time. went with cheryl to kap and then plonked onto my bed and slept for 5 hours.
my body clock is so screwed. bet i cant sleep tonight man.
okie..must go study for my embryology and histo FA tmr
tataa

ahhh

2007-11-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

i must stop getting distracted by the comp!!
AH bad debo

OMG i just realised tmr is thur alr! yay! justin's booking out.
haha. but oh wells. no diff! cos i have to study. boohoo.
but i love physio la. i'm such a geek. O.O <-my harrypotterish thick specs

bday

2007-11-17T23:32:00.000+08:00

just got back from my cousin's bdae party. i'm really full.
anyway, my couz got a nintendo ds and he already has a psp and gameboy advance. wad a lucky nit. he's only p2/p3 btw.
in fact almost all my cousins have psp-s.
ok but i'm not complaining la. no time to play also.
i want a car. haha.

lexus bumper car!

2007-11-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

life's been good so far. just loads of studying to do but nonetheless good.
yesterday was an interesting day :P
eunice and i scooted off to ps after lectures for lunch at pastamania and while driving out of the carpark, BISH we crashed into the sidewall. passenger sidemirror-shattered; bumper-pulledoff; metal thing above the bumper- sososodented.
was kinda shocking man! but thinking back..it was quite an experience la :P was really like a bumpercar. just tt it was a real car. an expensive one. haha.
wells, but ps carpark is so damn narrow. :/ and it has odd walls that do in and out.

anyways, my BTT is on this fri! managed to get a slot like on sunday. truly a miracle! yay dont have to wait till feb for it. so yeah. hope i dont fail.

2007-11-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

HAHAA funny. love the guyton and anat bits
guyton is a name of a really thick physio tb btw

:(

2007-11-09T21:04:00.000+08:00

OHMYGAD. :(
bbdc is so so screwed up. i so so booked my btt for next tue..and it's not there? not even the transaction record?
gosh. i so wanted to started drving lessons this dec hols :( boos :(

gimme more

2007-11-08T01:17:00.000+08:00

it's britney, bitch.

i love gimme more! ♪
hoho :)

on another note, i think i'm getting my priorities all mixed up :(

i wanna watch BRATZ! just saw the trailer this morning on the bus.
bratilicious :P

2007-11-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

i am soooooo dead..
djkshfjkadjfdsl

i just wanna sleeeeeppppp...boooooooo

birthdaybirthdaybirthday!

2007-10-30T15:40:00.001+08:00

it's justin's bdae today! whee. happy birthday baby :)

anyway. no PBL today so yayyayyay! ended at 1030 and went with genius to pick up her sis from mg. ilovemg. anyway, went to alazhar after tt to buy my lunch and met diyan and nigeltay/bun! haha. so i sat and ate lunch with them. they're so funny la. hahaa

okie. shall study now cos i fell asleep just now. boos :(
dinner with justin tonight! :P lalala
tataa :)

P.S. my new maid has arrived! :P yay. still cant rmb her name tho.

zzzzz

2007-10-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

new maid coming tmr- yay :) no more housework!
BIOCHEM *shudders* FA next wed- boo :(
basic theory test next next tue- :(

the next few weeks are gonna be really busy ones. :(
thank God for perfect timing- newmaid tmr! :)
bye dirtydishes/smellytortoises/broomstick/rawchicken/ricecooker/soappowder

hohoho

2007-10-25T19:56:00.000+08:00

heeello i have transformed into a more proficient maid now! :P
i cooked rice/fried porkchop/reheated spinach and washed dishes for dinner 2 nights ago! HAHA i'm quite proud of myself. not bad eh. :P

today, i just deskinned/defatted a chicken and i think it's gonna be pretty salty cos i did it right after returning from playing floorball :x i washed my hands but the chicken touched a bit of my forearm..which was undeniably rather sweaty..HAHA :P
anyways, my nailbeds are stinking of chicken fat now. EWW. sicksick.

my mum decided to just get a new maid instead of waiting for my old one to reach us. so yeah. HAHA :P i'm happy! my maid life is hopefully ending soon! but then again everything would be less lehchey if my old maid came back..anyhoos I DONT HAVE TO DO HOUSEWORKK ANYMORE..soon!!! which is good cos i so need to get some studying done man! zzzzz

maggi mee 101

2007-10-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

i made my first maggi mee myself for lunch just now. and omg wad a tricky task!
to start with, i'm so glad my mum was boiling some fishball soup before tt so the stove was already on. i am so afraid of lighting the stove man. for some reason, my stove's kinda spoilt so u gotta use a lighter to light it. so scary la. wad if burn ur hand or wad if u drop it into the fire after lighting it?? it'll like explode in my face man.
so anyway, it's was so difficult to squeeze the instant paste out cos the steam's so so so hot!! and i tried cracking an egg into it. no problem there. but after tt i dropped half the eggshell in cos it was so hot. man. :/ so tricky. tsktsk. nvm i'll conquer u next time mr maggi mee.
i know i can do it!!!

today's cvs prac was fun man. i almost tot the mannequin patient was real! anyways my daddy called just now and asked whether i wanted to rush down to watch another stitching but oh wells. decided not to la. cos my mum cant drive with her hand like that! tho she kinda sneaked out just now and drove to the get some groceries (driving against my daddy's orders..tsktskk..hurr) but she told me regrets it cos it hurts. but it was so funny la cos she said she spotted my dad's car on the way back so she sped back but when my dad came back he was like, "i tot i saw ur car on the road" haha. :P hees. i love my family man. and my bro just got a new job! which is cool. :P happy for him!! YAY. he's got so many things to memorise though. poor poor thang. he was showing me his module book last night. but oh wells. THANK YOU GOD!

maria reporting for duty

2007-10-22T20:11:00.000+08:00

haha..man..i really feel like a maid washing this and washing that. i just washed the dishes, cleaned the table, cleaned and fed my tortoise (my dad's 'duty' actually..hurr..but he bribed me with horfun) life's really busy without a maid! plus my mum's hand is still recovering from the op. but it's kinda funny. like just now, my mum offered my dad banana cake and his immediate reponse was, 'i dun wanna wash tortoise water!!' haha. so funny. my dad's prob still on his 'food bribing mode' so he tot my mum was trying to bribe him with banana cake. HAHA ah. so funny.
wad comical parents i have :P

haha. think my blog's gonna become 'chronicles of maid' soon. hurr.

anyway, fortunately i dont have to do ironing!! man. i hate ironing like crap. plus i cant never iron the clothes straight. so my mum's been doing it..amazing considering her hand is still recovering!!
oh yeah. i helped to dress her hand yesterday! :P i learnt tt if u pour h2o2 and there are still bubbles it means tt the wound hasnt closed yet! my mum's wound hasnt closed yet man. plus she has another cut. must be from all the housework.

anyways, yesterday when i was with justin at courts, i saw this really awesome gadget. the irobot!

it's so awesome ya know? u can even programme it to a certain time of the day and it'll automatically on and vacuum/sweep/clean ur floor.
and my mum was telling me that there's this special ironing cupboard thing tt u can just hang ur clothes in, switch it on and ur clothes will be automatically ironed straight.
MAN the wonders of technology!
haha. aiyo think i'm becoming so aunty..discussing household appliances!
hurr..

theeck tutorial

2007-10-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

my tutorial for the weekend is so THICK i have no idea how i'm going to finish it!

anyway had a really good day yest cos we celebrated the oct babies (seeyun, gen, liz) bdae at cafe cartel (raffles place). rushed back for my pract session after tt (was 15 min latee..but nvm) anyway, i will update abt the lunch when i have the time cos trying to squeeze everything now wont do justice to tt fun lunch.

oh wells. i'm tired!! have been helping around the house tho i wished i could do more! like help my mum to iron cos her hand's still recovering..but i cant cos i can never iron any clothes straight. so oh well, just help to wash dishes and blah. last night i scrubbed a pot so hard but it still wouldnt get cleaned and i got a backache from standing and washing it. man. i wonder how my maid tahans all this man. cant wait for her to be back from her vacation!!

on another note, eunice's and my trip to uk has problems! we cant get a ticket back to sg until the 10th! and my school would have started by then. bummer man. :( and we cant leave on boxing day as planned. only have tickets on christmas day. we're on the waitlist now. so we'll just see how it goes. i've this ominous feeling tt it wont work out though :(

:P:P:P

2007-10-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

woohoo..our uk trip's becoming more and more a reality! in the process of getting air tickets now and now we're going to york too to visit NADSIE! :P

haha. yay. today's a fun day! after tutorial, eunice picked me up in her awesome lexus and we went shooopping!! :P seriously, eunice's lexus is so so cool. like when u reverse there's like this video camera thing tt shows up on the screen dashboard. like wow.
so yeah..anyway shopping was pretty unfruitful..cos we didnt noe wad to buy!! shant elaborate later i spoil surprises. ahha..anyway we got around it..so there.. yes i'm being ambiguous! HAHA

so anyway, eunice, being the nice her, went home to get her laptop after her lunch at acjc before picking me up! so we spent the rest of the time at taka's kfc doing our trip research..which was really FRUITFUL! haha. finally getting a headstart. :P

so anyway i'm home now and i've kinda just started on nuceotide metab for tmr's tutorial. think i cant finish it tonight mann :( cos my maid's on holiday so i've to help with houseworkk..ahh..so waste time.. oh wells..at least i didnt have to clean the tortoise shit today! WHEE hehe.
ahhs. i feel quite behind time..plus i keep getting distracted by the comp!!
OH WELLS gotta run :P tataa

:P

2007-10-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

yay. think i have enough for the trip with eunice! :P haha. ok..actually my mum's very nice already to pay for my airticket and i still complain so much. bad debo! :(

anyway, yay so justin's finally back! met him aft my looong day of lessons and just got home after dinner and dailyscoop! yum :d

!?!

2007-10-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

i just realised that there's just one more week for thorax and then next week we'll be into abdomen. omg. i havent even started reading anything abt thorax. or heart for tt matter. gosh gosh. sighs and tmr's gonna be a loong day too.

feeling so emo now cos of the london trip. my mum says i've gotta use my own cash for the hotel and expenditure there and she'll just pay for my ticket. O.O
now..she didnt tell me THAT when she asked me to find some kaki to go for a holiday with. like ??? sighs. nothing gets me more stressed out than $. tt's why i hate $$ so much. gahs. sheesh.

firstly i hate counting. u have no idea how i enter into a sympathetic mode (fight/flight/fright mode) everytime i have to count coins to pay the uncle for my 65cent peel fresh drink at the canteen.
secondly, cos i hate counting, i dont know/cant rmb my bank balance and i am sure it def is not enough. my mum's response to that is 'cut short the holiday then'. sighs. it feels like i'm just going there to salvage my mum's input into my airticket and every other expenditure (tt would be on my account) amounts to naught/is not impt. wads the point of flying there, just for a few days to save on accom money when the airticket's so ex too.
thirdly, i really dont mind paying but tt would result in a loss of my hard earned 'financial independence'. man u dont know how good it feels to not have to ask for extra cash. :( spares me all the scolding.

sighs and i have to work out my freaking budget before my mum will confirm the airtickets and i dont have time to scour the damn internet to find work out the itinerary/find hotel now. i can barely even finish my work. and time's ticking. by the time i have the time to do that, there'll be no more tickets left. :/

boos :(

true thanksgiving

2007-10-14T00:39:00.001+08:00

gosh, i'm missing justin so badly right now. :(

monday come quickly!
but not too quickly cos i've got this blood assesment thing which is counted and i'm totally unprepared for it :/
i feel quite out of touch with my work!

anyhow, stayover at church was fun and meaningful and i really learnt a lot from what rev ong shared abt 'how to not commit idolatory in giving thanks'.
we cant thank God if we have no deep and spontaneous regard for Him as a person. like what jonathan edwards wrote in the excerpt that rev ong printed for us- it is like how we will not be honoured if somebody thanked us often for our gifts but had no real regard for us as a person.
and to bring the analogy to a different level, all our declarations of thanksgiving are like the gratitute of a wife to a husband for the money she gets from him to use in her affair with another man if we are not captured by God's personality and character.
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Articles/ByDate/1995/1550_How_Not_to_Commit_Idolatry_in_Giving_Thanks/
above is the link for the article and i highly encourage all to read it.

i have to admit that i am guilty of not truly thanking God for who He is sometimes. it's kinda hard to explain but you know i think we're all pretty guilty of it cos we do tend to rattle on "thank God for giving ME this..blah blah, thank God for that..blah blah", with emphasis on the gifts and not God, if u get my drift.
anyhow, i feel that as long as we are aware of this human tendency, we can now avoid this and truly thank God for his mercies upon us!

had combined yf games today as well. was not bad. :) and i thank God truly for the fellowship and getting to know out fellow 'spiritual cousins' from the other bp churches as pastor heng put it. i really enjoyed pastor's sermon and now i know the origins of our bp church much better. :)
i must admit that i USED TO think galilee's service was a little offbeat and boring cos we dont have drums and all that but you know tt's really something untrue. on the contrary, i'm so thankful that God has allowed me to grow up in a church that appreciates hymns. and now as i grow older, i'm beginning to understand the beauty of the hymns we sing and how much theological meaning there is in all the hymns. they're just so meaningful and God- centred!

i love my church! but most of all i love you GOD!

:D

2007-10-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

played handball today! omg i really love where i am now cos the pple are so nice and i'm studying interesting things! :) i so so so have to thank God for all these man! ahh..God really's so merciful to me! sometimes i wonder why he loves me so much. it's hard to understand but that's the way God is i suppose. :) merciful, loving and kind. :P

anyway, i liked today's PBL man. medical ethics. so complex and rather mind boggling and well sometimes irritating cos tt's arent as simple as black and white but it's very interesting and fascinating. i guess society sometimes just makes everything so complicated. in the past everything's just done in with a paternalistic approach but now with advance in society and an increasing number of pple with knowledge and vested interests, things get complicated. and there's so many things to consider even before saving a life...like whether tt person has expressed his/her wish not to be saved and blah. sometimes i just wish we could just save lives and forget abt all the gray areas and legal issues that might arise. (i cant stand pple suing each other btw..esp over small things. seems rather childish. but tt's the way it is i guess *shrugs*) :)

on another note, justin's coming back this MON! :P
haha oh and i signed up for salsa on mon too. HAHA omg. :)

I have always wondered
How it can be done, to pick the one
Who's gonna be my lover for life, my baby ♥
Be there to hold me through the night
When it happens you can see it in his eyes
They tell no lies, brighter than the sky in July, my baby
Cooler than anyone I've known

workout!

2007-10-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

finally i got to work out today! HAHA for once i actually was conscious abt wad muscles i was using and how i was extending or contracting them. :P

anyways, CA is finally over. i've been stressing quite a lot over it even though it's just 5% and was just 20 MCQs but yeah i dont like to do badly and i need a confidence booster! thank God for seeing me through it. dont know what i'll get but at least it's OVER! :P

zzz

2007-10-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness. i feel like i'm on drugs cos i keep yawning and my eyes keep getting watery.
ok. back to anat now..

happy again :)

2007-10-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

helloo everyone. i'm happy today for a change! :D haha
just got back from church today cos i had a meeting for the sunday school camp which is happening in dec. well so anyway, school was not bad today. :)

i prayed last night before sleeping that God would grant me a fulfilling day at school and he did.
had lunch with kevin and hannah at megabites! talked abt trying to strike balances and coping with school work and all the church activities. i guess that's what's great about fellowship because there's encouragement from one another to keep close to God. and tt's really impt for me because i honestly find tt pretty hard cos i get so distracted and lazy easily. i've skipped prayer meeting and yf last week and i thank God that i've church frens who constantly remind me that striking a balance can be done! like jasmine, jaime, yvonne, kevin, hannah, lydia..etc.

so anyway today's like a total break from the antisocial zombie days i've been having. i'm quite happy. my meeting in church was pretty fun too. jasmine, hannah, lyd and daniel were there when i reached and everything's just so relaxed :) and hannah's yanyan biscuits were funny. like it read 'chicken- kokakokoke' or smtg to tt effect. then after tt shelia, josiah, gwenyth and yvonne arrived.

oh wells. wad a great day! THANK YOU LORD! tmr's a long day for me. public health screening and then yf. give me strength LORD! and strength to study too cos my CA is on wed and i'm pretty dead. :(

P.S. my dear nadsie wadsie called me from the UK today. :)

vicious cycle

2007-10-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

man i'm trapped in a cycle. my body clock is really so so so screwed. i get home and sleep the whole day and then try to study at night..but it gets really hard cos i keep getting distracted by facebook and msn and then before i know it, 12midnight hits and i feel damn guilty abt not studying enough. so i try to study more..and end up sleeping at 4+. so i wake up late and miss the beginning of lectures and get damn blur abt wads going and have to do more catching up. :( and cos i'm so so tired cos of the 'late night', i sleep the moment i get home. and the whole cycle repeats.
oh boys. really cant go on like this man. boos. anatomy CA is next wed. gahs. omg now that is counted.

my life's getting pretty meaningless nowadays man. esp since justin's far far away. man. it gets lonely. fortunately, there's eunice and michelle in lectures with me. man. when they leave for aussie, i'll be damn damn sad. they're prob the only pple whom i can relate to the most. the other pple i hang out with are pretty nice too. but sometimes i cant help but feel we're of pretty diff frequencies. well guess it cant be helped, since i've known eunice since p1 and i've known most of the rest of the pple (minus kevin) for just abt a month.

which reminds me..LIZ u almost got me damn screwed. stupid girl. BLEHS. boooboo head!

on a happier note, eunice and i are going london/eurotripping this christmas! :P liz cant go. :( boohoos. we're trying to get michelle to go too! and so yeah tentaive plan is to meet nads in UK, if she's not flying back, and hopefully yams can fly down from the US to meet us in the UK. den we can take a train to france/paris (i didnt noe they were the same place man till eunice and mich told me. omgawd) since yamsie can speak french! but still waiting for yams to reply my facebook msg! hmm..mann..really hope this trip works out!! if not it'll just be sandcastles in the air...booo.. well..but i've gotten the green light from my mum, and eunice got hers. so yeah. fingers crossed. God- willing. yeah. :)

2007-10-04T04:13:00.000+08:00

gosh. medschool is seriously draining me.

laksaday/monopoly/mahjong

2007-09-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

just came back for eunice's place! man today was really fun :)
laksa was really awesome..all the humhumhum :) and the otah and the RIBS and chickenwings and the longan jelly dessert thangy. whee. :P

we played spongebob monopoly too! and man. i was gonna win la. almost at the end of the game, i decided to auction off my properties and i sold my 350quid spongebob pineapple house to nads for $980 BUCKS! (nads and liz were fighting for buy my property) HAHA :P smug me thought i was gonna win the game..haha..i had like $2656 in value mann. and i was sure i was gonna win and was doing my victory chant when everyone was still counting their $$. haha.. but i cheered too early..gen beat me!! dannnnngg..

so then we migrated to the living room area and surprised nads with a cake! yummy yummy cake from SICC. in the meantime, we watched final destination 3 but we chickened out halfway (/EDIT/: 10min..hurr..happy lizzie bizzie wizzie?? :)) cos it was scaryyy! my palms were reallly really sweaty. :X
haha so anyway we then decided to play mahjong. my first time. wah so complicated! i figured it's kind of a mix of heartattack and speed. just that u dont use cards, but tiles and that u dont really have to be quick. hurr..i still dont get the game man. esp the part abt me getting a chicken which ate a worm..and den everyone gave me a plastic disc ($?) ??? hurr..mahjong is a reaaally strange game.

anyway, so i'm home now. and i'm pretty dead cos i havent really started on lower limbs and there's still histology- i fell asleep in the aft man :( and i woke up in the afternoon. so it's like wake up and den back to sleep again. blehsss. i wont have time to study on mon too cos i'll be home late on mon. and the FA is on tue?? booooo :(

P.S. genius lent me her hairspray album! woohoo :)
Ev'ry afternoon
When the clock strikes four
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)
A crazy bunch of kids
Crash through that door
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)

ahhhh

2007-09-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

i just spent my entire morning looking at zacefron thingys..interviews etc on youtube. omg he is so absolutely charming. dangg.. how i wish i were going to USC! omg den i'll be in the same college, and same freshmen year as him! OMGGG he and vanessahugens even have a 'loveship' ring. omg how sweet is that man.. omgomg i cant believe i'm was like soo close to meeting him (ok not very close la) but i mean all i had to do was apply to usc! omgomgomg.

ok enough of daydreaming. have to start on my work now..proximal attachment to the proximal two-thirds of the supraepicondylar ridge of the humerus..blah blah deep extensor muscles of forearm..lateral to wadever medial to ?? ..booo..
my 4th day on upperlimbs and i'm not even done yet :( and there's still lowerlimbs and bood and HISTOLOGYY :( to complete..booo...

ramblingss..stressed over stupid things

2007-09-26T12:32:00.000+08:00

man. i think i'm a really easily stressed person..either that or i'm suffering from OCD. my mum very kindly :) helped me wrap the rest of my textbooks on mon but i felt really really disturbed and STRESSED by the 'loose wrapping'. it wasnt loose actually; in fact it was quite tight but i really dunno why i kept feeling tt it was too shiny and distracting and i was getting really irritated by the 'loose' plastic. gee. :(
and i just received an email tt my nametag will be coming soon and i realised tt it would be starting with my name instead of my surname (it's prob my fault cos i always write my name first..and i prob did on the signup sheet?) and i'm feeling kinda stressed by just THAT? omg. wad is happening to you debo!! (and now i'm talking to myself)
internal turmoil internal turmoil internal turmoil..GAHS and i'm feeling so antisocial too. everyday's just study study study! moores and snells have become the 'pple' i hand out with during my hols..boohoo..i hang out with books! omg. how sad is tt man. sad sad sad. test when school reopens and i'm not even quarter through. :(

anyway, last night, after QT, i stayed awake as i lay down on my bed and was pretty disturbed by the fact tt the body is just a body. like where's the (anatomical position) soul? yes i'm like damn weird. geez i'm turing into a med geek. :( i think i must have been too tired..but yeah it was disturbing.. wad triggered me off was the picture of the severed forearm tt we saw last friday and i mean like. yeah wads cut off is cut off so u gotta stitch/join/glue wadever it back. so then does the soul have a forearm attachment? is it modelled after the body? wad comes next? well anyway tt's a stupid inconsequential question but it moved me on to the temporarility (no such word but i dont care) of the human body. i mean yeah. it's kinda wad u see is wad u get. it's like a shell. a wonderfully intricately designed shell. but when u loose a limb, u feel pain, u might get it reattached, u might not..but after that..what comes after that? at the end of the day, we die and that's it. what happens next? what happens next? what happens next?
well, i know what happens next- we get to go to heaven for believing in Jesus and for believing tt we are sinners saved only by God's grace. but u know, much as i believe it, tt's really so much like just a textbook answer tt sometimes we, myself included, are likely to say without much thought. but when i do think abt it, the process of how we actually get to heaven does terrify me still and the only thing tt's keeping me sane is knowing that God is in control of everything and I can just trust in his care. He cares for the silly awkard looking bird, with eyes placed on the peripherals of its head (can u imagine how hard it is to look for tiny brown earthworms in the soil with eyes like tt??). He cares for the lifeless looking (to me at least) plants. so of cos He cares for me!
sounds like a FALLACY (defn: component of an argument that is demonstrably flawed in logic or form, thus rendering the argument invalid in whole; btw fallacies are a v interesting topic! note to self: read more abt this when u're free) but I know it's true and sometimes it's kinda hard to prove everything. the verse i received from tin's mum this morning (she msges me a verse a day) is "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" John 8:32
how timely and appropriate.
you know, if we try to reason out everything, we can go crazy, and i mean crazy by the true sense of the word.
i cant say that i never ever had doubts about whether everything i believe in is true and whether i'm just following herd mentality. in fact, from time to time, i do question myself whether i'm such making much ado about nothing. but look at the world, look at the human body. could it have all come together by chance? by the big bang? by some random fusion and tt formed an amoeba which evolved into a human being? chances are, NO. my God is real!

neverending..

2007-09-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

ahh..why is it that the chapter on upper limbs never ends?? and i'm only looking at pictures in the atlas..there's still the tb of over 90 pages..ahh

haha..anyway met genius for the secret mission today..wahaha. tupid..everybodae pangseh..haha..but we pangsehed BEEHOONakaSIEWSakaCECILIA for lunch today cos as usual, we were running late. cant elaborate on the secret mission for now..xcept that i suck at using varnish and genius had to salvage all the mess i made. haha it was fun though :P HAHA carrying out our secret mission while listening to the HAIRSPRAY soundtrack! :):)
so anyway on last saturday, we met at swensens for one last dinner out before nads leaves. was fun fun fun! hmm..but thinking back, i feel quite horrbile abt all the gossiping. it was all fine and dandy then but when i got home i felt kinda like sheeeett..and even worse the next day during church.. hmm the tongue's such a powerful instrument! so hard to control. esp when it is fun to talk abt scandalous stuff tt we hear. oh wells. must stop, debo!!

oh welllss..anyways justin left for taiwan last night..ahh for 3 weeks! hmm i've/will be going to the airport so often these days.. on last thur, i went to get my 'rents from the airport, yest(sun) i went to send justin off, this wed my maid's going back for oneandahalf months and this coming sun my dear old pal nads will be flying off!! boohooss :(

nananananana..YOU ARE THE MUSIC IN ME ♥
haha.. mann i'm such a sucker for teenage booper pieces :P

everyday

2007-09-21T22:11:00.000+08:00

ONCE in a lifetime
means there’s no second chance
so I believe that you and me
should grab it while we can :)

i think med is a great vocation bcos it not only intellectually stimulating but it challenges one to develop as a person. today during anat, we got to see some really serious clinical cases. some were pretty gruesome, to say the very least. it was then that i realised that docs have to be brave and rather desensitised, yet caring at the same time. and that docs must be able to stabilise themselves and do what they need to do. what a tall order.

mann..i've been sounding so serious the past few days. haha but yeah i do actually think abt life issues too. i have the utmost respect for all the healthcare workers- doctors, nurses, healthcare assistants alike (and in no particular order, i must stress). it really isn't easy.
mann..my dad's my hero. patient (a lil too long winded tho :x haha), brave, stable and calm yet caring and has really good hands! he is the greatest doc in the whole world! i wanna be just like him at the end of my med sch and for the rest of my med career.
i wanna be like my mum too. balancing family and work as though it were a stroll in the park and having great pple management skills. wow isn't it?
GOD really is so good to provide me with such wonderful parents :)
i love you 'rents! :)

it's great to have them back from liverpool! but it was kinda sad cos by the time i got to the airport to get them back, they were on the way back already! hiyo.
wells, anyway they took pics and i got to see the uni that i was supposed to go to. liverpool seems like a really really nice place. my parents said tt the bus driver actually stopped the bus halfway (with all the pple waiting patiently) to draw a map for them and to even write a letter to ask the next bus to give them a free ride cos they missed their stop. awesome innit?

~hawana wakawakawakaniki pu pu pu
the pineapple princess tiki :)

highschoolmusical2!!!

2007-09-21T20:35:00.001+08:00

i got the highschoolmusical2 album!! :P WHEE. i love all the songs mann! :P
anyways, school's out! :P recess weeek!

i want FABULOUS
that is my simple request
all things fabulous
BIGGER and better and best

:)

reality bites

2007-09-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to feel the pinches of frank speech and just blurting out whatever comes to my mind. much as i want to be different, be just me, sometimes, it's just best to take my mum's advice and learn not to speak.
in some ways it's kind of like what the plenary speaker at our professionalism seminar, abt 2 fridays back, mentioned abt gd surgeons.

a gd surgeon knows how to operate,
a better surgeon knows when to operate,
but the best surgeon knows when not to operate.

i noe i am taking this very much out of context but these concepts, together with personal experience does kind of click.
learning when not to speak, is perhaps empathy maybe? trying to understand what someone else feels and then know what to say or not. this may just be duh to some pple..but for me, i'm still learning.

let me cite an experience from abt a week back when i exclaimed abt 'being glad to have finished O and A Levels and extremely happy that I'd never have to go through that again' to a fren who just finished the A Level preliminary examinations. i am still kind of shocked abt how my reckless speech can be so insensitive sometimes. :(
a more recent experience would be drawing attention to certain mundane happenings and thus causing a bit of unhappiness. this happened twice, the first time not really by me, but yeah. excessive blabbering that could have been prevented. i'm gonna be really vague bcos i dont see a need to really elaborate abt these events since they're over and kinda personal- between just the parties involved. they werent really major issues. just really small ones but enough to get me thinking. nonetheless, it just emphasises to me that less speech= less misinterpretation of actions/intentions. sometimes, it could just be a slip in the memory part of the brain (cant cite which part exactly yet..haha) but tt could be enough to lead to strained relationships.

on another note,
my parents are gonna be back tmr! haha. life's been pretty crazy without the 'rents around. let's see..my bro bought an electric guitar, and is now sporting a really strange hairstyle, i sneaked out to watch ratatouille in the middle of the night when i had a test coming up, (yes. my range of crazy is kinda sad when u compare it with my bro's haha. dang. my sad uninteresting life. mann..i need more guts!), 3 of my cushions have pee on them thanks to keag!, i managed to stay out for an entire day w/o reporting my whereabouts (cheap thrill i know..haha) and it's been non-stop airconditiong in my bro's room.
haha..yeah..but i miss my parents! yes i do and i cant wait to get them from the airport tmr!

ALSO,
justin booked out tonight!! off in lieu cos he'll be going to taiwan for 3 weeks this coming mon. :(
but nonetheless yay :P i love spending my time with him cos he's just so nice and cute and fun to be with! going rollerblading tmr after school! woohooo :P

ratatouille

2007-09-17T19:24:00.001+08:00

i feel kinda slack today..dont feel like doing any work!! just completed my biochem FA online..whee..which is a big load off my mind..cos i missed all those lectures and i was quite scared i'd fail..but yay praise God 14/20..not full marks but i didnt fail!! :) it's not counted into the final marks but still i'm happy it's overrrr! WHEEEE

anywayy, i watched ratatouille on friday with justin! :P haha..at first i thought it'd be some stupid rat show but it was REALLY REALLY good. mann..i've been watching many good shows recently :) hairspray, end of the spear, ratatouillee haha :)

met with sheryl and gen for subway lunch on friday :P coldcuts trio rawks! :):)
and i met mozi on the bus today! :P really nice to see her after so looongg!! i love mg peeps..for friendships made and pleasures shared, truely :)

i'm enjoying sch so far but today was by far my tired-est day..i was like fallin asleep during the first lecture but i tried soo hard to keep awake cos i noe if i dont i'd be damn lost la and i'll die and never be ble to catch up..so anyway i bought coffee during break and wow it worked mannn :P haha..but think coffee will give ugly teeth stains right?? like cigarettes..so yeahh wont drink it too often..

i dont wanna do work i dont wanna do work i dont wanna do work!! :P haha..aiyar will slack today la. yeah debo i'm cutting ya some slack mann. yay cant wait for keag to come over!!
anyway..facebk is like super addictive mann..i played it till 4.30am on sat night/sun morning?? 2 late nights (fri night/satnight) in a row..no wonder i was so tired today!!

anyhow..check out these 2 pictures! haha..my drawings! haha..yes i'm artistically challenged..haha but yay think they look pretty decent..plus my dad said my drawing improved! :P oh my parents are at liverpool now btw..haha..so ironic i'm supposed to be there and prob not supposed to come back till next june..haha.